Dr. Psychology

'Normally abnormal', 'encyclopedia of extracurricular gossips', 'pluralistic ignorance', 'a different slice of life', 'non-indulgence, nuisance-less, harmonious', 'self-love', 'negatively assertive', 'creativity and conflicts', 'friends and followers', 'wishes, luck and blessings', and most importantly 'AND', the list of such phrases is so long that I may even write a separate post on those.

Interestingly, he has removed me from his facebook friends list, I guess twice. And, both the times for a different and weird reasons. For the first time, when I had commented on one of his status updates calling him a 'copy cat', for he had put one of my text message as his status update without giving due credits to me. And, second time when he found one of my status updates on professors outrageous and disrespectful for the fraternity as a whole.

In first year, I came to college wearing a red color short kurta over jeans, I still don't know, what made this french beard, middle-aged, grey haired man to stare at me. He was wearing a faded shirt over a trouser and floaters. And, then, we became friends on facebook. This was surprise to me to see a professor on facebook, very unlikely in those days, at least as much my understanding was. I started commenting on his status updates. It was really encouraging to comment on his all updates as he liked almost all of them. Later, I realized it is just one way communication because he likes everyone's comments as such. Till that time I had not opted for elective of humanities department and I had no communication with him in person. Whatever, I knew about him was through facebook and few friends. Looking at the number of likes which his updates on facebook fetch, one would surely consider him a famous and affable person, at least in his own circles. Generally, students find him a decent and supportive professor and so was conveyed to me.

This is how my acquaintance with this complacent, just by means not by nature if I may say so, and extraordinary teacher, which is my experience with him, has developed. From, addressing him 'Sir' to 'Dr. Psychology' and sometimes with the initials of his first and second name, my relationship has developed with him, as he becoming my professor friend and a generous mentor. I find myself privileged to gain his attention, affection and guidance. In his own capacity, he always tries to help his students , who approache him. One may find him evading one's problem and proposition, both, off course it is a matter of choice for him primarily, but, later, one may realize, that he was actually trying to help people to prioritize. He is a practicing psychologist and works with industries, NGOs and provides personal help as well.

There is no count on the number of discussions and subjects that we have had. Also, there was not just one dimension which we were discussing. Sometimes it was political stunt of a college student and sometimes it was distribution of condoms in some youth conference. But, all such discussions made me realize that too much of assertion kills the beauty of discussion, one may express different opinions on the same subject, and, along with all, this was always a take away. Be it behavior of one of my professor or his own neighbors, he has always shown fascination for the details about people and instances. But, after all the gossips, there was always some crisp comment to ponder over, certainly, the interpretations are with the one who is at receiving end. 

Do things which are necessary but keep in mind the urgency of each. If you have sandal wood, it would be worthless to burn all of it as fuel. Nothing comes for free and you have to learn to be happy with routine and yourself following it. If you want hundred dicks then you get two hundred balls too. Be what 'you' mean to someone. Discussions are for exchange, they may not reach the conclusion, always, but, they can take you to them a little closer. 

His office, where one may always find low-tuned instrumental playing on his PC, few weird books on his tables and one in his hand and off-course one or other gossip friend or follower. Everyone is welcomed with some not-so-welcoming expressions or comments, which are abnormal, but, He is a psychologist after all. He has wife too; and, two kids. He has his own library of books and a nice bungalow. A proud maharashtrian Brahman who is very particular about his second name. Often, veiling his personal life, he has made this as his habit to keep conflicts away from him.

He works for children with learning disabilities. He is following a practice of taking the kids of his locality to all the different places and events in Nagpur, since 1992. Many of the 'Yogi Kaka or Mama' fans have got kids now. Morning walk and sleeping early are also few of his habits. Cooking a dish in lunch, daily for his kids, what he says, he enjoys a lot. In his class, he is interactive and open for discussions. His love for Nagpur, people and places and for every other thing in this world can all be found out through his facebook posts because there where he exists most other than his classes. 

A person need not to be great to teach you, neither he needs much of knowledge nor a lot of experience, just a little empathy towards people is sufficient. Direction and not advice that one should be given and not immediately, it is a process which takes time so should be done gradually. There is just one line to live, so live it honestly, you can turn to erase anything. 

"aisa kaam karo ki naam ho jaye, ya aisa naam karo ki naam lete hi kaam ho jaye"

Dr. Psychology, all your words of wisdom have always helped and will always do. For many this post may be of no relevance, but in everyone's life there is a person like you who is a blurry image for the world but helps people around him shine their image. 

his impression

When I am sitting and writing about him, I must clear that I am his son but its' not any appreciation note or any tribute to him. It was really tough to find someone about whom I could write who is not that well known but has created a lasting impression on my heart and mind. Today, suddenly I got stuck to this idea that who can be my first blurry image other than my father, who has brought me up and has made me so capable to even write and for that matter to do anything.... 

On my every action and thought I find his impression and I just don't know but it just happens and it can be a general phenomenon as offspring do get certainly personality traits in their genes from their parents, I guess, I know enough to say so. I could recall him, slapping me once for demanding a chocolate of just five bucks and even buying me a toy of thousand bucks. He is a real man of circumstances and principles. A true follower of his father and a committed family man. He evaded the work which was obvious as he was too young to do that but he did, he actually started handling the shop when he was just eight. He regrets it quite often that he could not study but recalls his father consoling him that it's good that he didn't as his family required him more. From his love for football to his sincerity for work, I have hundred things to appreciate about him. He earns really well, more than one and a half engineer but spends quite less, he is not a miser but knows the worth of his wealth so ignores the size of his income. About money, he says "you have really limited sum to spend, which either you can spend on yourself or others, but the only thing which matters is what gives you more pleasure !! People not extending their hands to spend on others are not worthy and wealthy as well." He was running a business of millions in nineties and so he regrets the division of family which happened then.

I have seen him running for a dying man on a railway platform, whom we never knew. He got shocked when my sister fainted. He lifted up my grandmother when she had chest pain. He cried when last rituals of my grandfather were performed. He gets into quarrels with my mother. He got depressed on my less AIEEE score. How does it matter to anyone in any sense but it does because he is like any other human so he errs as well. But, as a father, as a son, as a husband and as a human, how much have I seen him is an image of 'near-to-perfect' human being. 

He often tells me 'sab din saman nahin hote, sab jan saman nahin hote' - All days are not same, all humans are not same. As a father he scolds me when I do something really wrong but he wanders with me till midnight. He has been matured enough to listen to all my adolescent experiences and comment on them as a very nice friend. I have shared every single bit of life with him and he has made me to enjoy every moment of it. When I turn back today to look at my life, I find him so right because the shape which it has taken today, which is quite good, would not have been possible without the way he was and he is.

People and our relatives trust him so much that they come to him for every other problem they encounter and he too humble solves those without any sense of doing. He says "man hus to tuti chappal men takka lagwa ke pehnenge aur nahin to char jod jute kharedna kaunsi badi baat hai"- He makes his own choices. He does the accounting of a small retail shop on tally using his personal laptop asks children to learn many languages. Meditation is his daily habit and it gives him the unending power to sustain the adversities which anyone has to face in life. His favorite doha - "dheere-dheere re mana, dheere sab kuch hoye; mali sinche sau ghada, ritu aaye fal hoye". I am not his follower, I should not be. Because, my mother still finds some odds in him, but, she also admires him when it comes on how should I be. We together have spent many hours talking to each other and now whenever I go home, we spend at least one sleepless night sharing our thoughts and lives. "aadmi ki agar aadten achchi hon, to us kisi baat ki fikr nahin hoti."

He is a courageous and thoughtful man. Although, he could not complete his formal education but he inspired me to study well and learn more. For him study is not what you read in books but how you direct your life and your surrounding after learning something. I can continue writing because he is my father and so can anyone else about his/her father. I must confess this is not a blurry image but the most clear image of my life which has helped me in making my own image. I request everyone to simply love their father because he is the rigid support of one's life; which doesn't bend often but in case tumbles down no other structure can stand anymore. I am emotional because I know he is not a celebrity but he is my hero !!!!